| 256 |
[Feb. 8th, 2010|05:58 pm] |

suspiro ante el respiro por venir. |
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| 255 |
[Feb. 7th, 2010|10:05 pm] |

(ni yo me lo esperaba...) |
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| 254 |
[Feb. 6th, 2010|07:33 pm] |

la belleza de lo i n a m o v i b l e es la solidez de su color verdadero. |
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| 253 |
[Feb. 5th, 2010|06:59 pm] |

{ la misma mujer, siempre siempre siempre } |
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| 252 |
[Feb. 5th, 2010|06:49 pm] |

difícil ver los demás significados cuando el significado prevaleciente es enorme en sí... |
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| 251 |
[Feb. 3rd, 2010|02:53 pm] |

workday. chalk, dog hair, rain. &, no paycheck yet. someone shoot me, please. |
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| 250 |
[Feb. 2nd, 2010|05:01 pm] |

big feet tripping over what is meant to be kept fragile and delicate, shuffling along in hopes of becoming light, of becoming fair, and landing on the smallest of noses, on the smallest of palms, on the path of other steps looking clumsily for direction. |
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| 249 |
[Feb. 2nd, 2010|04:46 pm] |

this is what a sigh would look like to me. |
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| 248 |
[Jan. 31st, 2010|10:27 pm] |

cae la noche, y pues a veces qué remedio. |
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| 247 |
[Jan. 30th, 2010|10:48 pm] |

y se reconoce |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2010|11:43 pm] |
so, this was read into by more than one. apparently, i can't write what i want in my journal, and, apparently, i wasn't supposed to say that i felt i didn't have any close friends in this city. so now i'm supposed to be really grateful for the destructive, judgmental, self-absorbed people who i know? so now i've suddenly turned into this awful, inconsiderate, intimidating person incapable of showing gratitude and affection?
i'm not writing this to state the opposite --that's not for me to decide-- but whatever i may or may not be, i am entitled to say what i feel, and i feel exactly what i said. i didn't mean to subliminally recriminate anything. i'm not even mad at anyone. i just feel i can't connect with most people from my past, and yeah, it's probably no one's fault, really. you can't try to be there when you just don't want to be there, and people don't have to want the same things you do. i've tried to respect people's sayings and doings, so what's the deal? the whole process hasn't been a picnic in the park for me, either...
and just for the record, i haven't given up on anyone, nor do i feel anyone has given up on me. come on, that's just ridiculous. i simply want my friendships to be entirely different from what i was accustomed to, be it with the people who are already here, be it with the people i suppose will come along. and really, there are a few people i can honestly do without, people whose image i have been struggling with for ages now, and it's just impossible, impossible to make anything work. i don't even feel like i have to say it to their face. they're toxic and mean, and i don't want them in my life anymore.
i had been pretty nostalgic lately about the life i didn't get the chance to pursue when i lived in the states. edgar noticed this and introduced me to the world of google maps. we looked up my old home in chicago, and man, it was just... i don't know... it was great! i showed him around, the places i remembered, the anecdotes attached to each of them... it made me so happy, to see a part of my past with fresh eyes. and it was then when it really hit me that the people i've gotten to know at a more personal level here in mexico city don't really know that much about me. now that i've had time to think about it, of course the only things i have exposed unto others here are the immediate and maniac ways i've cultivated in their presence! but there are all these other interesting and meaningful and beautiful and great and sometimes not-so-great parts of me that have never come up. why haven't they come up?! and that's what i mean about wanting things to be different.
and i was about to ask if all this made any sense, but it clearly doesn't have to make sense to anyone when it makes perfectly good sense to me. |
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| 246 |
[Jan. 29th, 2010|11:42 pm] |

qué rica cenita ^^ |
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| 245 |
[Jan. 28th, 2010|10:54 pm] |

{ a match or a pen -- my only options } |
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| 244 |
[Jan. 27th, 2010|08:44 pm] |

hay cosas que se tienen que decir, cómo no :D |
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| 243 |
[Jan. 26th, 2010|07:31 pm] |

esconderse, adornarse; perderse, encontrarse. |
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| 242 |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|10:41 pm] |

s t r e s s e d (here we go again) |
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| 241 |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|09:13 am] |

everything should be as beautiful and as simple as this ♥ [gracias theineffableme!] |
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| 240 |
[Jan. 23rd, 2010|11:11 pm] |

..:mustmasterlightmustmasterlightmustmasterlight:.. |
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| 239 |
[Jan. 23rd, 2010|11:06 pm] |

[leftovers & the 1st book of the year] |
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| 238 |
[Jan. 22nd, 2010|02:31 pm] |

vacío? vacío. |
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| 236 |
[Jan. 19th, 2010|06:54 pm] |

it would be fun to learn to work with my hands... |
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| 235 |
[Jan. 18th, 2010|10:51 pm] |

some days start fine, but end up like this -- ugh. |
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| 234 |
[Jan. 17th, 2010|08:58 pm] |

lejoslejoslejoslejoslejos [y sin buena luz] |
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| 233 |
[Jan. 16th, 2010|09:53 pm] |

{pastelitos arquitectónicos} |
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